Panda's on Parade

Sleeping in the Forest

2008-02-11T20:30:00.000-06:00

Sleeping in the Forest by Mary Oliver

I thought the earth remembered me,she took me back so tenderly,arranging her dark skirts, her pocketsfull of lichens and seeds.I slept as never before, a stone on the river bed,nothing between me and the white fire of the starsbut my thoughts, and they floated light as mothsamong the branches of the perfect trees.All night I heard the small kingdomsbreathing around me, the insects,and the birds who do their work in the darkness.All night I rose and fell, as if in water,grappling with a luminous doom. By morningI had vanished at least a dozen timesinto something better.

Little

2008-01-27T21:09:00.000-06:00

Today I feel so litte. My roommates have not really said one word to me all night. And then to top it off, I was looking at facebook, and my one roommate has top friends, and the one roommate that is on there is on it, and also the 2 girls that we lived wit hlast year is on it. I guess I am not her firend, and you know what I feel like they would not even notice if I had died. I mean I feel like I mean nothing to any of them, they don't talk to me unless they need something. And they do everything together without me. I feel like I should be dead in my apartment, and when I have told them that, they are just like what can we do to change that, and I tell them, but nothing changes. I don't know what to do anymore.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T22:45:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas and a great new Years. Life for me has been stressful, but what else is new with being in College. Anyone want to pay my bills for me? I have to pay rent and Tuition all by the 6th. Scary... But other then that, life is good, just stressful. Because I am unsure of who reads this, I am not going to say alot. I hope to update more in 2008 then I did in 2007.

Work

2007-07-19T23:52:00.000-05:00

So it has been a while, but right now I need to get something out.

I HATE WORK!!!! Everyone there is so childish. I have told my boss every week that I need at least 35 hours, but I never get it! Also today a girl that quit a couple weeks ago told me something and I am not sure if I believe her or not. I got my hair cut and she told me that there were 3 people at work that did not like it and were talking about it behind my back. Do I confront any of them on it or not? One was a guy, the other 2 were girls. When she asked them about it they said it was an inside joke. Everyone at my work is so childish and I want the high school drama to stop! I came home from work and all I want to do is cry!

...

2007-02-25T16:41:00.000-06:00

So, basically unintentionally or maybe it was intentionally my roommates called me fat... and I have been trying to hide that I am upset by it by blaming it on I have a cold, which I do, but I keep blaming all the sniffling on that.. where it is not just that...

yeah so...

2007-01-25T23:07:00.000-06:00

So school has started again.. It is keeping me busy. Geography is going to kick my butt, but hopefully I will get through it and get on the Deans List again. Umm.. lets see what else.. Oh yeah I went down to New Orleans over New Years, and I had fun, except for the girls I was sharing a room with were loud when they came back in from partying. We will see how that goes in the future.. umm what else...Right now I am watching When Harry meet Sally.. It is an interesting movie.. not sure what else is new...it's kinda late and my brain hurts.

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
- David Viscott

The entire law is summed up in a single command, "Love your neighbor as yourself."
- Galatians 5:14 (NIV)

Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.
- anonymous

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

Purpose

2006-12-21T00:37:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I went up to the Cities to spend time with my Sus and Mary.. I miss both of them dearly. Today I worked on my day off of work which sucked but good money. Tonight haveter work, I talked with my roommate Michele, we had a good conversation. I miss good conversations. We cut it short so she could go to bed. Which I need to do also.

On another note, I am glad that this semester is over. I got my grades today and I got 2 A's, 2 B's and a C. That helped my GPA, which will hopefully get me into Professional Ed. Well I think I am going to head to bed. It is only 12:45, but I have had 2 good conversations tonight and that tires me out.

Good night World!

Here are some quotes.

It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is.
-Hermann Hesse

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience [dreams]: this is the ideal life.
–Mark Twain

Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something.
–Plato

another rant/things that I needed to get out...

2006-11-15T20:55:00.000-06:00

I wonder if any of my roommates would notice if I am not here. None of them include me in anything that they do. Amy and Michele had a “double date” tonight. I know that I have bible study, but they did not even say good-bye to me. They said it to Laura, but not me. I have been feeling down a lot lately. I don’t know if it is because it is that time of the year, or if I am just lonely and I want to be included. I might have depression, with what I am feeling, but I mean how hard is it to go “Hey Becca, want to come with us?” or “Hey Becca, can we talk.” I am the one that is always starting the chats. Why is that? I wish that I had someone here to talk to and spend time with. I wish that things would go back to normal where Michele and Amy did not exclude me in everything that they do. They don’t even seem to care that I am around. Would they even notice that I am not here? Amy might because we share a bedroom, but who knows. I guess that I feel really left out of a lot of things. I don’t know what to do or how to talk to them about it. It is hard for me to be confrontational to anyone. But I might have to be in order to get a point in or something. I feel like I am the only one that cleans the drain in the sink, to buy sugar, and flour, and wait I have not used any of it, but I bought it. I also bought the dish soap, which yes we needed, but still no one said thank you. I want a hug. And now I am crying. I hate this week. I have cried every single night this week.

Long Rant

2006-11-13T23:34:00.000-06:00

Dear Whoever reads this,
This is a rant that I need to get out. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT THEN DON”T READ IT!
Tonight I was at Eucharistic adoration, which basically is having Jesus exposed in the monstrance. And the guy that leads this Adoration time that we call Cor ad Cor which means Heart to Heart in Latin, sang this song called Better is one Day. While he was playing/singing this song I just burst into tears. I miss my grandma and I was yelling at God for taking her away from me. There has been so many people in this last year taken from me that I am sad. I mean my grandparents where last year, but this year, I have lost my Great Uncle Bob, Great Aunt Vi, My friend Kenneth. My friend Amanda, and then this weekend, I was not close to her and did not even know her, but I knew her friends a student from MnSU was found dead on Friday night. I just can’t take it anymore. Well I was sitting there and I just broke out in tears because it got me thinking about how much I miss my grandma and how much I take things for granted. Because this is also Nation Homeless Awareness Week, so they also showed pictures of homeless people from all over.
I feel so fortunate to have a house and parents that are still alive. I am also fortunate to have roommates and other people that love me even when I don’t think that they do. But there are some times like right now that I feel left out. 2 of my roommates are not here, which I understand, I think they are at someone’s house talking about Mary Kay, but my other 2 are back in a bedroom with the door shut talking and I never get included in any of these conversations. I just feel like I am a horrible person or something. I don’t know why I feel like this, but I do. I guess I am kind of jealous of the friendship that they have gotten over this year. I knew both of them before this year, but oh well.
And then one of my roommates told me that she would make sure that my rent check got turned in, and I come back on the 5th of November, and she did not turn it it, I turned it in on the 6th, but they still have not cashed it.
Well I better get going. Just needed to get some thoughts out.

Rebecca

Snow

2006-10-11T15:32:00.000-05:00

We got some snow today. It is Oct. 10th and we got snow.. everyone does not think that it should be snowing right now. I think it should, but as long as it does not stay. And a plane hit a 50 foot story building in New York. Why did he hit a building? Why did he not realize he was flying so low? Oh well.. things happen I guess... as long as it is not Sept 11 again.

What else is new? Well I joined Alpha Phi Omega. It is a national co-ed service frauternity. Go me? Umm what else. I have to talk to my parents about someting and am not sure how to bring it up. And I have to give a talk in 2 weeks, well less then 2 weeks but I have not even started it yet... well I better get going.

Math Rant!

2006-09-29T17:20:00.000-05:00

I HATE MY MATH TEACHER!!! HE IS SO DISRESPECTFUL TO US AS A CLASS.. We took a test last week, and he was not even there for us to ask questions to. And then When we got the test back, everyone did horribly on it. He did not grade one of my problems, and when I brought it to his attention, he wrote me an e-mail saying that nothing that I did warrented a change in grade. I DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION! YOU WERE NOT THERE TO ASK QUESTIONS TO! HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO DO BETTER ON IT WHEN I COULD NOT ASK QUESTIONS TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION BETTER... and to top that off he said that we all suck at math, and if we don't know 1st year algebra, then how are we going to be math teachers. HE IS SUCH A BAD TEACHER. There were some people from our class going to talk to the Math Deptartment head today to try and get some of this changed,

ok. Rant done. Much better.

Hello

2006-09-17T15:40:00.000-05:00

So... well.. lets see.. what is new with me? not alot... just work has sucked the last couple of days... it has been crazy busy both Saturday and Sunday. We had 9 cashiers on at home time. I just finished watching the Vikings games... they won in overtime. YAY!!! umm.. classes have not really gotten any better. my math teacher is a complete moron I think. He assigns homework and expects us to understand it all. We have our first test on Friday... I hope I do ok on it... Umm.. not much else is going on.

Wow so it's been a while again...

2006-08-30T00:02:00.000-05:00

Lets see.. In the spring my classes went o.k. I hated my one class though because the teacher made me feel stupid because I could not write as good as the rest of the class. I did bad in that class, but oh well. Over the summer I took 4 classes. Which is not bad because it was 10 credits. In the first session, I took a Human Preformance class for elementary education/physical education majors and that was alot of fun. I got to learn some games and just learn about different things. I also took a diversity class and that was alot of work. I did some volunteering with MRCI. MRCI has mentally handicapped adults in their place and they do some easy jobs. I helped out with feeding the adults in the room and their work. When we worked we put together the boxes of Christmas cards that have the same sayings in them. It was a lot of fun. I really got to know the 15 people in the room well.

Second session I took Statistics 154, which you would like to think would be easy, but it was not. It was alot of work. I really did not like that class. It was stupid. Another class I took was a class on how to do powerpoints, webquests, and other things teachers would have to do in the classroom. The only thing that sucked about that class is that we had to do it all on mac's because they are coming back into the schools. But oh well.

This summer flew by really fast. I got to see Susan a couple of times. Which was good, but I wish I could have visited with her longer. I was back in Rochester a couple of times, one was for a funeral of a guy 2 years younger then me. He was hit by a car and killed. It was hard to go to his memorial because I became good friends with him and I also knew his older brother.

This last week (Aug. 19-26) I was out in Montana. I took a vacation with my mom and dad. We met up with some if my dad's brothers from Washington. I had a blast. I got to spend some much needed time with my one cousin. I really wish that we lived closer together. He is like an older brother to me and I can go and talk to him whenever I need to. I might be going out to Washington next summer to spend some time with him. I want to get to know him more in his own setting.

Well I suppose it is getting late. Just thought I would update quickly.

Oh yeah, Classes started on Monday. So far they are not that bad, but I feel stupid with my math homework. I have to remember how to do algebra crap that I did like 4 years ago. Oh well.. Hopefully I will update more.. that is if I can remember my sign in and password.

Rebecca

so...

2006-04-11T13:09:00.000-05:00

so it has been quiet a while since I updated. I didn't think anyone read this anymore. Well the Month of Feb was hard because of the stresses from last year. Spring break was awesome in March. I am so glad that I got to drive out to Michigan with Abby and pick up Sues and meet her friends. April has started out really hard. It has been a tring month. I know that it has been one year since my grandma passed away. It is hard to believe that it has already been a year. I just hope that I will be able to get through this semester. It is so hard to consintrate on doing everything that I wanted to do. It has been hard to find time to do everything. I know I have had time before this week to work on my term paper, and even before last week. But have I had the ambition to do it? No. Why? Good question. Write me back so I know who reads this and know how specific I should get.

stress

2006-01-25T01:05:00.000-06:00

Right now I am really stressed. I have so much going on in my life that I don't know what to do.

I come into my dorm room and just want to start crying. I miss everyone alot. I look at my desk and think of what a mess it is and look at Erikas and fell that i should be more like her and organized, but everytime i try i fail. I just want to be able to be organized.

I want to like my classes. My history class is super hard. I am stressed about that. I thought it would not be so hard, but it sucks! I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I just want to curl up in a ball and never come out of it. I wanna cry. I wanna talk to my best friend. I don't even know if I have a best friend. I mean I think i do, but it is so hard to say these days. I am going to get going now because I am starting to cry.

update on spring semester

2005-12-07T23:36:00.000-06:00

I got into my one class that I really wanted to get into. EEC 200!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finals next week... it's going to be stressful.. AHH!!

my spring semester

2005-11-30T16:32:00.000-06:00

SCHEDULE:

Monday & Wednesday: Math from 11-11:50
Meeting from 4-6
Tuesday and Thursday: Physics Lec from 9-9:50
History from 10:00-11:50
Thursday: Physics Lab from 1-2:50
Friday: Math from 11-11:50
Social Work from 1-3:45

Total of 14 credits.

done by 3:45 every day. no classes before 9am.. what more could I ask for? oh I know being able to get into my one class that i need for my major!!

Becca

hi

2005-10-29T23:58:00.000-05:00

So, it has been a trying week. I have been super busy and have had no time to relax. I am kinda mad at my sister. She said she would come down today, but she drank to much and did not drive home and she does not know where her car is so she could not come down. It just makes me mad. I understand that she is 21, but can't she be more responsible when she said she would come down to see me. I guess I can't be to mad though. I know I have been too tired to drive to see people that are close to me. I don't know.

So the people that I work with tried to guess at how old I am. The guys were guessing that I was 22 while the girls guessed I was 25. I don't know if I should take that as being good or not. I mean I am one week away from being 20. Oh well. If you want to know more about that last entry just ask me. I don't really want to write it on here.

Becca

yes or no...

2005-10-13T17:41:00.000-05:00

Should I go see a counselor.. I won't say why I am asking until I get some opinions from you all.

....

2005-09-26T22:42:00.000-05:00

so I worried my self sick tonight.. now I feel like I am going to throw up... oh well I won't have a roommate for much longer so who cares.

describe me

2005-09-14T23:10:00.000-05:00

For those of you who actually know me, Describe me in 1 word. It could be one long word, of just 1 word. ex.happyfriendlyawesomeperson. or friendly

School

2005-09-07T00:53:00.000-05:00

So I am back at school. I started school a week ago.. I start early I guess. I have had a lot of things on my mind lately. I don't know what is up with that. I also have been having a hard time falling asleep at night. I guess I have been stressed or something. There are so many things going on here that I wish I could talk about, but I don't know who all reads this, and well right now, I don't want to go into it all, but if you really want to know, you can call me, or leave a message and I will try to get back to you.

I miss my grandma. I got thinking about her today. And it again came to mind that I didn't get to spend alot of time with her before she passed away. That is probably not that bad, but i really miss her, and want to be able to talk to her. I love my family. They are all really supportive. One of the girls on my floor, I am related to her, and well she knew my cousin, who committed suicide a couple years back. She brought some pictures of him back, and I picked him out right away. This might be why I have been feeling so down today. I am not sure. It might also be that a friend of mine leaves in 12 days for 16 months to Iraq.

~me

hi

2005-07-22T01:22:00.000-05:00

Ok so it has been a while. Work has really been stressing me out and so I have not updated else I probably would just be screaming and ranting on here. But what is new about that, because it seems like I am always ranting. Oh well. Well so my dad and mom went out to Washington last weekend. My dad got the picture that he wanted that was hanging in my grandma's house. I hope that when we get it, I will not cry everytime I look at it. I can picture it right now and I start crying. I can't believe that both my dad's mom and stepdad passed away. I never got to see them alot so it really hit me hard because I was just starting to get to know them better and learn about my dad and his growing up. I just realized that I have not wrote a thank-you note to Sandy and Doug. Sandy is my mom's birthmom. I guess I just don't know what to say still. Maybe I will just say thank you and say what I used it for. Well I better get going. I get to work tomorrow and I need my sleep.

Hi

2005-05-02T12:44:00.000-05:00

Ok, so it has been a while. Well There is a good reason there has been a while. I don't know if anyone looks at this so I did not know if I should write in it. But the reson is that I have been really stressed latly. I have had a lot of things come up this semester in school that I would not want anyone else to have to go through. First my grandpa Johnson passed away on Valentines day, he was 88. So we went out to Washington for a week to go to his memorial service and to spend time with my grandma, because her health was failing. And then April 5th my grandma passed away on her 68th birthday. No one got to wish her a happy birthday. She was so out if it in the morning that no one thought that she would respond if they did wish her a happy birthday. When I got home to Rochester, so that my dad and I could fly out to Washington to go to her memorial service, I found out that my great-grandpa had passed away on April 2nd, he was 88. And I also found out on April 11th that my great-grandma's health was failing her, so she did not even know that my grandma had passed away. (If this is all confussing and you want me to try and explain it to you more in depth, just e-mail me or something.)

So after missing 2 weeks of school, lets just say that my grades are not the best. They are quite poor to be exact. I am getting a F in Calc, D In Computer Science, D in AC Circuits and a very high B in Speech. I just wish that I could redo this semester, but because I can't I am going to retake Calc in the fall, but for no credit, it is going to go for this semester. So I will be taking 18 credits. AHHH!!!! This is how my scheduale is in the fall:
Art MWF 8-10
Acting for Everyone MWF 10-11
Math 201 (Elements of Math) - T H 9-10:15
Bio Lab M 1-3, W 1-2
Bio Lect. T H 11 or 1
Aqua Exercise T H 8-9
Calculus MTHF 12-1

Well I better get going for now..

Becca

ahh!

2005-04-01T00:11:00.001-06:00

Well, for my Spring Break, I stayed here at the dorms in Mankato and worked 40 hours. So much fun. Amanda came up for a day, and we went to see my grandparents in New Ulm. I also slept in alot. I am still not caught up on all my homework, but hopefully I will be soon. I guess that I have not really put myself to the max to get caught back up.
I got to see Susan this last weekend. That was alot of fun. I miss seeing her and hanging out playing games. We did get to talk and get caught-up some, but not alot. I just wish that she was not so far away. I did not get to see anyone else. This week has seemed to fly by. Right now my mom is out in Washington for 2 weeks spending time with my grandma. She has more vacation time to use up then my dad does, go figure. I really miss Washington. I hope to go out there this summer, but not because my grandma died(even though we think she is going to die soon). Well I better get going. I am using Whitney's computer because my computer is not recognizing the harddrive, so I can't get on the internet. Stupid Computer. Before I go, here is a quiz I got from Amber's blog.

Saka and CJ's quiz

2005-03-10T23:02:00.000-06:00

Grab the nearest book.
Open the book to page 123
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the sentence in your email along with these instructions.
Don’t search around and look for the “coolest” book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.

"But as I'd learned from my coworkers in Maine--serveral of whom had spent time in tightly shared space==people who depend on the generosity of others for their lodging always have something untoward to put up with, typically incompatible relatives and long waits for the bathroom."
-Nickel and Dimed On (Not) Getting By on America
by. Barbara Ehrenreich

Buddy List

2005-03-04T23:28:00.000-06:00

I got this from a friends diary...
------------------------------------------------------
1. Write about 15 people on your buddylist
2. Write anything, good or bad, never say the name
------------------------------------------------------

1. Awesome person. I really wish I got to know you better in school. I also wish we talked more
2. Too obsessed with Disney
3. Quiet, but I love to talk to you, wish I talked to you more.
4. I am so glad we met. I don't care who we meet through, but you have helped me soo much. Thank you.
5. What can I say. I wish I got to know you better. You make everyone smile when they feel down.
6.I wish I got to know you better. I also think you are an awesome person
7. Stay on your path. You have overcome alot.
8.I miss you so much. Thanks for giving me a chance to be your friend. I miss seeing you around here.
9. I wish I had your talent. You will be very successfull in whatever you do.
10.Thanks for being the best friend that I thought I would never have. I miss every you so much. You have helped me through so much and I think of you as a sister. I hope that we will stay friends forever.
11. I love your cookies. You are shy, but so good at what you do.
12. Silly girl. You have gone through alot, but keep going on.
13. I don't know if I have your sn right because I never see you on. I wish that we could have been better friends.
14. I am not sure why I have you on my list... You have helped me by hurting me. Not even sure why I considered you a friend.... but You have cheered up my day when I was sad..
15. You are soo good at what you do. I wish I could do half the things you do. You are so nice and kind. I wish we got to know each other better then we do.

wow..

2005-02-24T00:36:00.000-06:00

Well alot has happened in the last couple of weeks.. but I can only remember the last one.. From Valentines day until today... So I will let you all(who read this) know if you don't know already, my grandfather passed away. He was 88 years old. It was my dad's step-dad. I guess he had a good life, it was time for him to go "home". I missed a whole week of school in order to go out to his visitation and memorial service. He is being creammated(I know I can't spell). But on Saturday the day of the memorial service, my Aunt who I have not seen in like 9 years came up to it.. I hardly recognized her, she has changed alot in the years. I hope that everything goes well for her, she is in treatment for drugs and having panic attacks.. But the good part of it all was being able to see my relatives... I miss them all.. The weather was nice also.

So now I am back at school and well, I have a week to make up. It should not be that hard.. I did not miss much in my Speech class, just being an "audience" member as the teacher said.. But my other 3 classes, now that's a different story.. I am going to be struggling to keep up.. oh well, I guess I will be doing that over spring break... hopefully I will get to see some of you, but in order to do that, you would have to come down to here, I have to stay here and work.. oh well.. that is what I get I guess.. Well I better get going, I have to try and get some homework done to try and get caught up....

I will leave you with part of the song I am listening to right now...

Crash Into Me
by Dave Matthew's Band

You've got your ball
You've got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again
Who's got their claws
in you my friend
Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
Lost for you I'm so lost for you

Poem

2005-01-31T21:08:00.000-06:00

Following in Saka's footsteps with the help from Laura.

Sleeping in the Forest by Mary Oliver

I thought the earth remembered me,
she took me back so tenderly,
arranging her dark skirts,
her pocketsfull of lichens and seeds.
I slept as never before,
a stone on the river bed,
nothing between me and the white fire of the stars
but my thoughts, and they floated light as moths
among the branches of the perfect trees.
All night I heard the small kingdoms
breathing around me, the insects,
and the birds who do their work in the darkness.
All night I rose and fell, as if in water,
grappling with a luminous doom. By morning
I had vanished at least a dozen times
into something better.

2005 Resolution

2005-01-09T20:14:00.000-06:00

I got this from a friends blog.

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Make the FBIs most wanted list.

Get your resolution here

adjectives

2005-01-02T01:40:00.000-06:00

Use five adjectives to describe me. They can be nice, neutral, suggestive, etc; they cannot, however, be rude. Then post this on your diary and see what people have to say about you!

Final

2004-12-17T15:49:00.000-06:00

Well my finals are done.. Now it is just going to work here for the last day before I get to go home for a month. I miss home so much. I think the one good thing about this week is that Whitney moved out. She is just kiddy corner to me now. Which is good, but I am glad she moved. I don't know who my new roommate is, but oh well. Ummm.. I get a "new" car when I get home.. hopefully I won't kill this one. I can't wait. 1 week and I will be in Washington State. I miss everyone out there so much. Well I better get going. Have to get ready for work and say goodbye to a girl on the floor that is studying in Tazmania next semester.

Becca

I am

2004-12-07T20:11:00.000-06:00

You Are Ariel!
Headstrong'>http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0PgABA9ERfCFI7DycKBZYWVevwSMvQt7vc59z4J0nmYCjWM7A*rBgk03FXZRvvooPHN3aMIUNWl9x3RtYRHCKBE3Cqf!CzGyx/Ariel.jpg?dc=4675499428687937549">

Headstrong and fiesty. You have a mind of your own that's full of romantic dreams about the world around you. Exploring exotic places is your ultimate dream, and although you can be a little naive you'll realize that there is something to be gained from your family's wisdom.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

my last weekend

2004-11-28T21:43:00.000-06:00

Ok, So I did not spend all of my Thanksgiving with my family this year. I helped out on a retreat this weekend and I had to be there 5:30pm on Thanksgiving day. It was really cool though. I met a couple of awesome people. I will talk about 2 of them. First I will start out with Lauren.
Lauren is 16 years old. She is in a wheelchair all day long. I never really asked why. But I can say that she had so much more faith and personality then I ever could have. She is such an insperation to me and she helped me out this weekend soo much. I never thought I could learn something from someone that was making the retreat, but I did. I really learned alot from her. She taught me that no matter what life brings you YOU CAN MAKE THE BEST OF IT. She also taught me that she has had to overcome things in life. She is so high spirited. Her mom was so worried about leaving her, but she had faith in everyone helping out this weekend.
The other Person that really helped me is named Dustin. I was suppose to be at the same table as him, but plans changed. I was moved to another table. Dustin had made tec before, he was working just like I was, but he gave a talk that really made me cry. He stood up in and did the talk in his Marine uniform. I found out so much about him and how he has trusted God through it all that I realized that no matter what, God is always there. He has been shiped over seas twice so far, and it could be more, but he has stuck with his faith. He made me cry, but he also made me lagugh alot. I never thought I could laugh so hard. I meet his mom before him, and so I now think I love his family. His mom and him are so awesome and I am glad that I know both of them. God is so strong in his life, that I think whoever does marry him will be really lucky to have a husband like him. He has so many good things to say that it is hard not to like him or what he says.
I learned so much this weekend, but I have to now try to spread everything into who and what I meet in the next couple of weeks.

so

2004-11-16T13:04:00.000-06:00

So I think my roommate hates me. She is so not nice to me sometimes.. But she did apologize about Friday. but only After I first told her I was sorry about the way I went about it, but I was only trying to go about it in a way that would not hurt her. Oh well. I do wish I was back in Rochester right now. I wish that all my friends where there also. I miss you all so much. I have felt so down latly. I don't know why but I think it has to do with the roommate thing. I just want to scream about it. It seems like no one likes me here besides my C.A. I hate feelling like this though. Maybe I should just go back to Rochester and do some General education classes. I want it to be like last year when I had so much fun just being who I was and not having to worry about putting up a front to make sure that I don't offend someone with something that I say. I mean even the one girl across the hall that I got along with seems to be distancing herself from me so much lately. I just hate it. Maybe I just need to lighten up and not take things so serious but how do I do that when I have to worry about school and classes? AHHHH!
I want to be back home in Rochester trying to help out around the house because my mom fell on Sunday morning and dislocated her middle left finger. I just wish I could help out more at home.

sign blah scream

2004-11-16T00:50:00.000-06:00

ahh can I just scream... I will update about why later when my puter is working again...

Can I just curl up into a ball and never come out?

2004-11-12T10:43:00.000-06:00

I just want to curl up into a ball and never come out. My roommate is mad at me because I talked to my RA and my LCC because of some concerns I had about her and her financial problems. So just yelled at me because I talked to the girl across the hall this morning and said that my roommate was going to get up and study for a test this morning, but didn't. I guess I just can't do anything right anymore.

Stupid Laptop and Top 10

2004-10-27T15:04:00.000-05:00

SO my laptop is stupid. I can't connect to the internet through the ethernet cord in my room because it does not recognize the connection. I guess no more aim or msn for a while. *tear* Why does it have to be my Dell laptop that does not work? I am so confussed. Oh well.. Well the top ten is something that i had to do for English so I will post it here also.

My Top 10 things I have learned this semester at MSU:
1. Don't take 8 am classes
2. Get sleep when you can
3. Make time to study
4. Stay caught up on homework
5. Don't work alot of money
6. Remember to share
7. Get a meal plan even if it is only 10 meals a week
8. Don't take to big of a class load or to smal
l9. Get to know your Roommate and how they are
10. Become friends with people so that you can go out and have fun too.
11. Don't work so much that you can't have any fun.
Umm that is my top 11 I guess.

Top 10 Reasons why I miss Rochester
1. Family
2. Friends
3. Max(my dog)
4. My coworkers there
5. Drama
6. Band
7. The trees
8. Friday Nights
9. Saturday Nights
10. My own room

The Top 10's were in no special order either.

sigh

2004-10-07T23:07:00.000-05:00

So I am going to switch majors. I know kinda understand some of D.C. Circuits becuase of this guy Mark(who is like 45). He is helping me do the homework for the chapters. I really hate that class though. On Oct. 15-17 I am going on a retreat with CRU(Campus Crusade for Christ), up by St. Cloud. I think that it will be a great time. I will get to meet some really awesome people.

I wonder who all looks at this. If anyone looks at this add a comment so I know who is looking at it so I will know to censor my comments. Just Kidding. I would never talk about any of you guys badly.

There is alot on my mind, but I don't know how to get it all out. I am happy, but sad. Tired, but full of energy. Well I better get going have to do some precalculus before I go to bed.

I miss you guys very much.

well.

2004-09-27T21:45:00.000-05:00

So, I will do this now..
01. Who are you? :
02. Are we friends? :
03. When and how did we meet? :
04. Do you (or did you ever) have a crush on me? :
05. Would you kiss me? :
06. Describe me in one word :
07. What was your first impression? :
08. Do you still think that way about me now? :
09. What reminds you of me? :
10. If you could give me anything what would it be? :
11. How well do you know me? :
12. When's the last time you saw me? :
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? :
14. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?:

There..

I hate this...

2004-09-26T23:44:00.000-05:00

So like 10 mins ago I found out that I am not getting along with my roommate. How come I did not know that? I mean she is my roommate and all. I should know if we are getting along or not right? I hate this. If she did not think we were getting along why could she not tell me this? Why did I have to hear it from my C.A. who heard it from another girl? I guess I will try to talk to my roommate about it. They want me to switch rooms with a girl I don't even know, and her boyfriend creaps me out. I just want to stay where I am. I hope no one else is having this problem. I want to be roommates with one of my friends. AHHHH!!!! I am about to start crying again.

~me

i miss....

2004-09-21T15:33:00.000-05:00

I miss my friends, expecially my nasus, and marebear. I used to spend so much time with them. Why do we have to go off to college and meet new people. I like life how it was. It was so nice not having to work. I wanna go back to those days. I miss my cousins out in Washington. Why do I have to live in Minnesota and they live so far away. It just is not fair. I hope that I will get to see them soon, but not because something sad or bad happened but because it is just the time to go out there and visit.

I miss those friday nights at the football game. Even though we were freezing, we still were having fun. No matter what, it was just nice to be there, spending time with my clarinet people and the other people.

~me

stupid people

2004-09-13T20:15:00.000-05:00

Well so I am coming home from work yesterday. I was driving straight, but I did not look to see if any cars were backing out because I have the right-of-way, and this Junior guy smashes into my car. There is like no damage to his car, but my car has more damage then what it is worth. I mean I went and got estimites on it and just for the repairs it was over $2000. I mean come on, how can that much damage be caused to my car? I can still drive it, but it sucks. I have to be careful even more then I already was being. I hate it when there are stupid drivers out there. The one nice thing out of the deal was that he put the spare tire on for me. I guess I will have to live with that for now. But It still really sucks.

I am tring to be as social as I can, it just seems like I don't fit in at all. I wish I could fit in and talk to them. Ahhh, it is just so darn fustrating. Work has been good though. Everyone seems to be very helpful, and I even get asked some questions of they don't know the answer. Well I better get going now.

~me

Hello

2004-09-11T14:18:00.000-05:00

So after much pushing from my friend, I made a blog. What else can I say. Today is her 19th birthday so she is old now. College life is ok. It could be better, but I miss all my friends. I am not really getting any new friends here. I kinda am keeping to myself because they all have classes together, and I have classes by myself. I don't know anyone in any of my classes. Well I better get going.

-me